literature

Session Start

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: 12 July 2005                                        |
| Participants:                                                      |
|    “Racist are culturlly insecure." (yournemesis@hotmail.com)      |
|    hug me! (iwanttodie@hotmail.com)                                |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[11:00:06] “Racist: hey


At eleven o’ clock I begin the conversation. Apparantly, she’s my friend. My goal for today: stretch it.

[15:39:52] hug me!: hi

Four hours since I said first said hello, Holly gives me a reply.

[15:39:52] “Racist: how goes it?
[15:39:55] hug me!: not bad u?
[15:39:56] “Racist: bored


We are talking with MSN Messenger. It’s a computer program that lets you send and receive text-messages from anywhere in the world. Used by the majority of all teenagers, MSN Messenger (just MSN for short) revolutionised teenage socialising. No longer is there communal respite. The privacy of the home is pervaded by the omnipresence of inter-peer communication.

[15:39:59] “Racist: havent done the homewrk
[15:40:02] “Racist: been sittin here waiting


MSN, and other text-message devices, are also responsible, though blameless, for the degradation of literacy amongst the young. After making the badly-written word their main method of conversation, the teenager ceased to grasp the need for punctuation and spelling, not to mention grammar. The maxim is that speed and ease of typing are virtues, but they were virtues quickly forgotten with the introduction of a whole sub-language of abbreviations and obligatory phrases like the laughter-emulating ‘lol’.

[15:40:02] “Racist: been sittin here waiting
[15:40:19] hug me!: hu u bin waitn fo?
[15:40:19] hug me!: fro
[15:40:19] hug me!: *for
[15:40:20] “Racist: hav a guess


Holly, who is sporting the screen-name “hug me!”, to demonstrate her emotional intensity, does know who I’ve been waiting for. I’ve been waiting for her to give me a reply. She knows it. But she pretends she doesn’t, as is required of the teenage social code in my peer group.

[15:40:20] “Racist: hav a guess
[15:40:21] hug me!: honestly dont no
[15:40:21] hug me!: *kno


The wonder of MSN is that not only did it open up the possibility of even more banal banter between so-called friends, it also opened up a whole world of subtle social interactions that, due to MSN’s inherent facelessness, can be employed with extreme ease, and even revelry. I am sporting the quote screen-name “Racist are culturlly insecure.” Unbeknownst to most who see this screen-name, no one has ever said those words, and it’s a parody of the formula: stick a quote in your screen-name (arbitrarily misspell it) that details how one of the world’s vices is the product of an unsavoury character aspect, and then feel happy that you qualify as ‘deep’. I particularly like the quote I’ve chosen because in the chat-logs my name is truncated to “Racist”. But returning to the conversation at hand, I feel it to be time to begin my daily manipulation of Holly.

[15:40:19] hug me!: hu u bin waitn fo?
[15:40:24] “Racist: you, pretty obvusly


I wonder what wonder of a reply she’ll give to that? Quite unexpectedly, considering we are not actually the best of friends, I have bluntly said something to display that I believe there to be a tight bond between us. I don’t. But I said it to see how she’d respond.

[15:40:29] hug me!: y?

Oh, good choice Holly. What possible answers could there be to the question “Why have you been waiting for me?” Unless the answer is “To kill you.” Open expression of liking someone who you’re not going out with is a local taboo; Holly is just making sure I’ve crossed this line before branding me. Let’s see how much I can play with her thoughts.

[15:40:19] hug me!: hu u bin waitn fo?
[15:40:24] “Racist: you, pretty obvusly
[15:40:29] hug me!: y?

[15:40:31] “Racist: need to ask u bout maths
[15:40:33] hug me!: oh rite


Did I just hear someone exhale? She’s relieved I hadn’t actually crossed the taboo there, and that it was only her misunderstanding. Now that I’ve got her submissive, it’s time to reverse it.

[15:40:31] “Racist: need to ask u bout maths
[15:40:33] hug me!: oh rite

[15:40:34] “Racist: k well do u remember yesterday in maths?
[15:40:35] hug me!: yeh wot
[15:40:36] hug me!: trig stuffs ease
[15:40:37] “Racist: i mean wen u let me borrow ure rubbers and stuff.
[15:40:40] hug me!: uh ..wat about it?


Now she’s thinking, ‘Wait a moment, this isn’t about maths.” Now she’s wondering what strange thing I have to say about when she handed me her rubber. It’s too trivial a point to bring up so tentatively and wait four hours for, meaning that this trivial point must be a big thing for me. And when trivial points mean big things between boys and girls, things begin to reek of boyfriends and girlfriends. And seen as we aren’t boyfriends or girlfriends, Holly is currently entertaining the uncomfortable possibility that I have a dormant obsession with her. I don’t. I wait a few seconds to build her tension (knowing that she’s all eyes on me right now), then type.

[15:40:34] “Racist: i mean wen u let me borrow ure rubbers and stuff.
[15:40:40] hug me!: uh ..wat about it?

[15:40:46] hug me!: helloooo???
[15:40:49] hug me!: hey wat about it?
[15:40:56] “Racist: sorry I waz tlkin to some1 else there
[15:41:00] “Racist: don’t worry bout it


Holly, darling Holly, you fell straight into the trap. By making her think that this meant a lot to me, I made it mean a lot to her. That got her interested. Once she started asking all the questions, my lack of replies began to demonstrate that this in fact meant nothing to me at all, a theory that I confirmed with my ultimate reply. Instead it now appears that she’s the one who’s overly interested in the rubber. I made her cross her own taboo, and it was pitifully easy.

[15:41:00] “Racist: don’t worry bout it
[15:41:01] “Racist: and trig is hard
[15:41:05] “Racist: what exercise r u on?


I’ve changed the subject now. Holly is still powerfully interested in the rubber, but if she returns the conversation to it, it will become even more her concern than mine, making her the propagator of taboo and uncomfortable thoughts. She can’t handle it and I know it.

[15:41:05] “Racist: what exercise r u on?
[15:41:11] hug me!: ex14 q2a
[15:41:12] hug me!: well hard
[15:41:12] hug me!: u?


Ah, she’s happy for the subject change. I think I’ll ignore her question and give her another shock. How many times do you think I can perform a reversal of this before I lose my zest?

[15:41:14] “Racist: yeh anyway about this rubber

A musical stab just sounded in the neo-cortical frontal lobe of her brain. So the rubber does mean a lot to me. ‘Oh god,’ she’s thinking once more, thinking her uncomfortable thoughts. How dare she think what I don’t prescribe. Ready for a full reversal?

[15:41:14] “Racist: yeh anyway about this rubber
[15:41:15] “Racist: I was just wondrin why ur so interested in it?
[15:41:19] “Racist: does it mean summin special 2 u or summin?


She is relieved, because once again the rubber is not a big concern of mine. On the contrary, it appears to her that I’ve made a mistake, and she can easily correct it.

[15:41:19] “Racist: does it mean summin special 2 u or summin?
[15:41:22] hug me!: oh rite lol. no its jus a rubber.
[15:41:24] hug me!: is it special 2 u?


Daring, my dear Holly, daring. Unfortunately for you, also rather foolish. She provides me with an excellent hook for another twist. She’s going to beat the record for the most amount of emotional changes in under three minutes.

[15:41:24] hug me!: is it special 2 u?
[15:41:27] “Racist: uh... yeah
[15:41:28] “Racist: it kind of is


Oh dear, did I just smash and reassemble her thoughts and feelings again?

[15:41:33] hug me!: wot? how...?
[15:41:39] hug me!: heeeeellloooo?!!
[15:41:41] hug me!: hey r u there?


Just doesn’t know how to defend herself does she? Even you can tell what she’s doing wrong.

[15:41:44] “Racist: yes I’m here damnit!
[15:41:47] hug me!: hows the rubber special or summink?
[15:41:48] “Racist: oh rite... lol...
[15:41:50] “Racist: i was joking :D


If I didn’t know Holly so well, I might have been stuck here. I might have had to ask, ‘Will she press the matter further?’ But Holly is too interested in not breaking taboos and looking cool. Thus, she takes what is given like a good little dog. A good little bitch, that is.

[15:41:50] “Racist: i was joking :D
[15:41:53] hug me!: oh rite I thort u wer serious 4 a second ther
[15:41:54] hug me!: lol!


Excellent! Some rapport! This brings us closer together, especially now that we’ve only just escaped a potentially uncomfortable situation. Like when survivors are brought together after their ordeal. If I laugh with her now I seal the rapport. Yes, let’s go with that one for now.

[15:41:53] hug me!: oh rite I thort u wer serious 4 a second ther
[15:41:54] hug me!: lol!

[15:41:55] “Racist: lol, bit silly of ya
[15:41:56] “Racist: kinda obvious it waz a joke :P
[15:41:57] hug me!: yeh I know lol, jus me bein dumb :S


Oh, we’re just basking in this aren’t we? Well, time for disaster to strike, methinks.

[15:41:59] “Racist: wot, did u think i was obsessin over u or summin?

Ten quid says she denies it.

[15:42:02] hug me!: lol no

Didn’t her mother ever tell her not to lie? I’ll tighten the wrench as a punishment.

[15:42:04] “Racist: ...you thort i was serious tho, right?
[15:42:06] hug me!: well yea..
[15:42:12] “Racist: then u must hav had a serious idea of what u
           thought i meant, right? so what did u think?


Ok roll up roll up! Bets in now for how she’s going to get out of this one! I place another ten quid on a fair pause before a reply detailing that she didn’t think anything.

[15:42:28] hug me!: didnt really think anythin really.

You people are so predictable.

[15:42:34] “Racist: k I waz just wondring lol

Nasty isn’t it? That, like shattering glass, is the sound of rapport being broken. After the ordeals of the last three minutes, Holly shouldn’t be too eager to re-establish the conversation; on the contrary, she’ll be very happy to get away. Did I say she could leave yet?

[15:42:39] hug me!: k anyway i need 2 go
[15:42:42] “Racist: y?
[15:42:43] hug me!: dinner


Those words came out too fast didn’t they Holly?

[15:42:44] “Racist: no one has dinner at 3 o clock

Is she brave enough to say what she thinks? Is she brave enough to say ‘I just don’t want to talk to you anymore?’ The paradox of our teenage taboo is that whilst one isn’t allowed to declare an unduly strong friendship, one is also not allowed to declare an enemy.

[15:42:44] “Racist: no one has dinner at 3 o clock
[15:42:45] hug me!: we’re weird lol
[15:42:46] “Racist: k well b4 u go
[15:42:47] “Racist: i need to say sumthing
[15:42:48] hug me!: lol not about the rubber lol
[15:42:49] “Racist: Yes. About the rubber.


Capitalisation, punctuation; but my weakness is not my technique. My sombre tone-change has got her praying again. Isn’t this fun?

[15:42:51] hug me!: very funny
[15:42:51] “Racist: not joking
[15:42:53] hug me!: k shut up now
[15:42:53] “Racist: I’m not bloody joking!
[15:42:54] hug me!: ok wat is it


Oh, Holly! I expected so much more from you! Only two sentences before you cracked?

[15:42:54] “Racist: uhmm..
[15:42:55] hug me!: look, daniel, whatever it is it’s okay
[15:42:57] hug me!: you’ve obviously got something about it
[15:42:59] hug me!: just say it I wont mind


How nice of you Holly. What a mistake.

[15:43:00] “Racist: omfg lol!!!!!!!
[15:43:02] “Racist: my god holl I WAS JOKING!!!!!


I almost feel sorry for her, the poor piece of overused play-do. She feels bitten now. I’ve stomped on her good intentions. Will she swallow it to preserve the pretence of friendship that we have? Will she say nothing to defend herself, all so that people can continue to call Daniel and Holly friends?

[15:43:06] hug me!: you little ..!!!!!

Half-way there. Not quite angry; diminished by its affectionate jocularity, our friendship pretence is secure. No, Holly, I am afraid that you lose again.

[15:43:07] “Racist: lol sorry its just funi u fell 4 it twice
[15:43:09] hug me!: yeah... lol... im dumb lol
[15:43:10] hug me!: blondes eh?


Afraid not, Holly! No rapport for you!

[15:43:12] “Racist: k go to dinner then
[15:43:31] hug me!: k laterz xxx
[15:43:31] * hug me! has been Blocked
[15:43:37] * hug me! is now Offline
[15:43:39] * hug me! has been Unblocked
[15:43:41] “Racist: laterz... xxx... you stupid bitch
[15:43:41] * The following message(s) could not be delivered to the recipient(s): laterz... xxx... you stupid bitch
[15:43:42] * “Racist are culturlly insecure.” is now Offline


When you know what people want, it’s easy to control them. At any point Holly could have told me she hated me, or that I was acting horribly to her. She could have had the bravery to speak bluntly. But girls like her live in their own prisons, and all I have to do to torture them is tug on their chains. Am I ever to find a teenager my age who doesn’t want a cushy fake life of false friendships, coolness, and conformity? Will I ever have an MSN conversation that I’m not totally in control of?
If you're familiar with MSN Messenger it would help, and even more if you're familiar with the layout of chat-logs on MSN Plus. I don't know how you might react to this piece, so I leave it to the winds. All I'll say here is that it's almost entirely character-driven, and the plot is contained in the characters, nothing else.
For a sequel to this piece, see: 'Session End'

Context:
False friends and social rules. I'm sure that at some point we've all come face to face with a social rule. Here's a good one: you're not allowed to say to someone "I hate you, get the hell away from me," unless a) you want to seem moody/volatile/angry or b) they've done something really bad to you. In most cases, someone can be pissing you right off, but not quite enough to warrant you telling them to get lost. That's a social rule, and this piece is about knowing how to play with social rules in the same way that you can know how to play with the rules of chess or football.

Analysis:

It's best to read the piece first.

Holly is thrown about and kept totally under the control of Daniel for the simple reason that she adheres to social rules and Daniel doesn't. He gets her right where he wants with perfect ease.
Daniel's motivation? If it doesn't make it clear near the end, his motivation is that he wants to find someone without the chains of social rules. Everyone with them is boring to him, and maybe even less than him; he finds it impossible to make friends with them. Rather nastily of course, he has a bit of fun with them too, but I can only empathise for my part; if I continued this character, he would live a dull life of fair boredom and constant disappointment: he needs a bit of cheering up now and then.
Watch how Holly continually, maybe subconsciously, tries to save the situation (ie return a friendly atmosphere to the conversation). Daniel, like holding out bait to a beast, gives her just enough to see, and then she pounces on it with the predictability and animality of a dog. At all costs she will preserve friendly relations with Daniel, despite the fact that he gives her awkward conversations.
Like the Drazen of 'Chains', people may call Daniel their friends if they want, but only he will know whether they are right.

Quite importantly, I'd quite like a reader to consider how oblivious Holly is to what Daniel is doing. Daniel is absolutely aware of how every word he types alters Holly's emotions. Partially, this piece is written for the sake of its own style, mercilessly analysing the intonations of every sentence, and showing how your everyday "friends" may be doing some, or all, of this type of manipulation.
© 2005 - 2024 alfakim
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Chrishankhah's avatar
Manipulation is certainly fun.

Funny thing... I wind up accused of it even when it's not my intention. I've been told it's engrained into me. Isn't that a nice thing to tell a person? My ex doesn't adhere to social etiquette with me. ;)